From: Zac Dover <zac.dover@proton.me>
Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2025 02:50:13 +0000 (+1000)
Subject: doc/mgr: edit telemetry.rst
X-Git-Tag: testing/wip-vshankar-testing-20250613.134551-debug~20^2
X-Git-Url: http://git-server-git.apps.pok.os.sepia.ceph.com/?a=commitdiff_plain;h=fc25b1ed12a98eace4c0665a529b69e86fcc9dc5;p=ceph-ci.git

doc/mgr: edit telemetry.rst

Edit doc/mgr/telemetry.rst.

Follow up on the suggestions made by Anthony D'Atri in
https://github.com/ceph/ceph/pull/63740.

Make several changes that were not earmarked in that PR, but that
nonetheless improve the quality of the English in telemetry.rst.

Signed-off-by: Zac Dover <zac.dover@proton.me>
---

diff --git a/doc/mgr/telemetry.rst b/doc/mgr/telemetry.rst
index b418b023c1a..47791993347 100644
--- a/doc/mgr/telemetry.rst
+++ b/doc/mgr/telemetry.rst
@@ -248,22 +248,21 @@ Where:
 .. glossary:: 
 
         NAME
-                Collection name; prefix indicates the channel the collection
-                belongs to.
+                Collection name. The prefix indicates the channel to which the
+                collection belongs.
 
         STATUS
-                Indicates whether the collection metrics are reported; this is
-                determined by the status (enabled / disabled) of the channel
-                the collection belongs to, along with the enrollment status of
-                the collection (whether the user is opted-in to this
-                collection).
+                Indicates whether the collection metrics are reported. This is
+                determined by the status (``enabled`` or ``disabled``) to which
+                the channel of the collection belongs, along with the
+                enrollment status of the collection (whether the user is
+                opted-in to this collection).
 
         DESC
                 General description of the collection.
 
-To print the diff that displays the differences between (1) the collections you
-are enrolled to and (2) the new, available collections, run the following
-command:
+To display any difference between the currenty-enrolled collections and any new
+or available collections, run the following command:
 
 .. prompt:: bash #
 
@@ -275,8 +274,8 @@ To enroll to the most recent collections, run the following command:
 
    ceph telemetry on
 
-Enable a new channel that is disabled by running a command of the following
-form:
+Enable a new channel that is currently disabled by running a command of the
+following form:
 
 .. prompt:: bash #
 
@@ -305,14 +304,16 @@ the following form:
 Manually sending telemetry
 --------------------------
 
-To ad hoc [fixme] send telemetry data:
+To send an ansynchronous, one-time set of telemetry data, run the following
+command:
 
 .. prompt:: bash #
 
    ceph telemetry send
 
-In case telemetry is not enabled (with ``ceph telemetry on``), you need to add
-``--license sharing-1-0`` to the ``ceph telemetry send`` command.
+If telemetry has not been enabled (by running the command ``ceph telemetry
+on``), you need to add ``--license sharing-1-0`` to the ``ceph telemetry send``
+command.
 
 Sending telemetry through a proxy
 ---------------------------------