doc/mgr: edit telemetry.rst (lines 300-400)

Edit doc/mgr/telemetry.rst (lines 300-400).

Follow up on the suggestions made by Anthony D'Atri in
https://github.com/ceph/ceph/pull/63741 (except for the one about
including Lovecraftian lore in the dummy user data in this file).

Signed-off-by: Zac Dover <zac.dover@proton.me>

diff --git a/doc/mgr/telemetry.rst b/doc/mgr/telemetry.rst
index b418b023c1a07b22da8260d85dee4020fabdbafb..37aa4a3f235985daa1860ea0c7bd361565faef2e 100644 (file)
--- a/doc/mgr/telemetry.rst
+++ b/doc/mgr/telemetry.rst
@@ -318,14 +318,15 @@ Sending telemetry through a proxy
 ---------------------------------
 
 If the cluster cannot directly connect to the configured telemetry
-endpoint (default: ``telemetry.ceph.com``), configure a HTTP/HTTPS
+endpoint (default: ``telemetry.ceph.com``), configure an HTTP/HTTPS
 proxy server by running a command of the following form:
 
 .. prompt:: bash #
 
    ceph config set mgr mgr/telemetry/proxy https://10.0.0.1:8080
 
-Include a ``user:pass`` if needed by running a command of the following form:
+Include a colon-separated user and password (``user:pass``) if needed by
+running a command of the following form:
 
 .. prompt:: bash #